By Barbara Perone
Wanted: Four Astronauts to colonize life on Mars.
Remember that book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus” detailing the differences between the two genders. Apparently, Venus is out and Mars is in as the new destination for everyone, including four astronaut-wannabes.
Sounds bizarre, but, it’s true. In April, 17,324 United States citizens paid a somewhat hefty application fee ($38 each) to a Dutch Company to take a one-way ticket to the red planet. Referring to each opening as “the most desired job in history,” the company, Mars One, wants to hire and train four astronauts to be the first crew to create a permanent colony on the planet by the year 2023.
In a break with tradition, the company is not just considering hiring pilots or scientists for the job; it’s open to hiring YouTube fanatics. Whoever gets the job, he or she will still have to wait until 2015 to start training, for seven years, with up-to 40 other hopefuls. Once training is over, the company will create a reality television show with the astronauts-to-be, allowing the audience to vote for their four favorites. After that, if all goes well, the mission will officially begin and company will send four new astronauts to the planet every year.
There are some drawbacks to going, though. Once you get there you cannot ever return to earth. And you won’t be able to bathe very often because you’ll have to wear a space suit to protect yourself from the cold and noxious gases that surround the planet.
Lack of proper grooming wouldn’t stop Hollywood film makers if they ever set up shop on the planet. Can’t you just see the marquee of the first Martian movie theater showing the new film – “When Hairy met Smelly?” Here’s a great marketing idea for the theater — a certain world-renowned chocolatier could bring back “Mars Bars” and sell them at the concession stand.
Anyway, if you’re interested, applications for the trip to outer space will be accepted until August 31st. So, hurry and apply by going to www.apply.mars-one.com.
When you complete the application, sit back, relax, and wait for a reply– like you’re doing right now while waiting for some “earthly” job. Perhaps listen to some inspiring music, like David Bowie’s 1969 hit “Space Oddity.” As the song goes, “take your protein pills & put your helmet on — commencing count down, engines on — 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 — check ignition and may God’s love be with you…”
By Barbara Perone